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Navigating Grief: Taking Control of the Journey

Writer's picture: Gaynor Gaynor

Grief is an unpredictable and powerful force that has been compared to trying to steer a yacht through a stormy sea amid waves that are overwhelming our vessel. The timing and manner of death are beyond our control. Yet there are aspects of grief that we can master, empowering us to shape a future filled with hope and healing.



Understanding the Uncontrollable


The uniqueness of the relational bond, however intense or complicated, can leave behind a tangled ball of emotions. We cannot alter the past, but we can acknowledge this reality as a first step towards healing.


Embracing the Power to Choose


Despite the uncontrollable elements, we hold the power to shape our present and future. In the face of grief, we can actively engage in our journey by focusing on what we can change in the present moment.


Taking Control on the Grief Journey


  1. Gaining Support: Seek companionship from those who understand the intricacies of grief. Connection is a powerful antidote to feeling alone.

  2. Psychoeducation: Knowledge is empowerment. Understanding the ebbs and flows of grief equips us to face its challenges with greater resilience.

  3. Community Connection: Meeting others who are on a similar journey fosters a shared understanding that can provide comfort and guidance.

  4. Mindful Exploration: Approach your thoughts and feelings with an open, curious mindset. Allow yourself the space to explore and make sense of your emotions.

  5. Expressing Emotions: Rather than suppressing emotions, find constructive ways to express them. Whether through art, writing, or conversation, acknowledging feelings is a vital step toward healing.


The Journey After Shock


Following the period of shock, when we must face the pressing decisions surrounding funeral arrangements, reality gradually sinks in over the days and weeks. Unfortunately, the once abundant support may dwindle, leaving us feeling isolated.


Empowering Ourselves


Remembering that we have the power to make choices becomes crucial during this phase. We can actively decide how we navigate our grief journey, even in the face of dwindling support.


A choice point in a forest

Choice Points


Every day, we encounter choice points—opportunities to move toward a better future. By pausing, breathing, and consciously deciding our actions, we shift from reactive to responsive, regaining a sense of control.


Prioritising Well-being


Choosing to stay healthy and nurturing our general well-being empowers us to process our feelings. It provides the strength needed to navigate the challenges of living a different life while maintaining a bond with our loved ones.


Continuing Bonds


Gaining information about what to expect on this journey is essential. It helps us cope with the challenges and maintain our connection with our loved ones even in their physical absence.


Amid grief's uncertainties, recognising our agency in the journey transforms overwhelm into empowerment. We may not control the winds, but we can adjust our sails, steering toward a future filled with resilience and a continued bond with those we cherish.

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