Although grief is a natural process, it can be difficult to navigate. How do we manage grief when everyone else feels it differently and it can take us by surprise? The following tips for healthy grieving may help.

The word grief comes from the Latin word ‘gravis’ meaning heavy. It became ‘grief’ in Old French meaning wrong, injustice or calamity then became ‘gref’ in Middle English to mean hardship, suffering or pain. Grief can occur following a death, divorce, illness or other significant loss or change.
Part of the difficulty with grief is that it can make us feel powerless and out of control and we can be unprepared for the onslaught on our physical and mental health. Everyone grieves differently, there is no set way to grieve. However, there are some habits you can adopt which can help you find some stability in this time of turmoil. In this blog we’ll look at ways we can grieve in a healthy way that can help you to heal.
Time
The first thing to do is to give yourself time. Grief can knock you for six, and it is important to allow yourself time to adjust. You need time to adapt to your changed situation and future. Expectations and plans will change and the future you envisaged will need to be rewritten. Your relationship with yourself and others will change and this can take time to get used to.
Allow yourself to feel your emotions and work through them at your own pace. Another aspect of time is routine. It helps when grieving to establish a routine, preferably one that will allow some social interaction. For example, a short walk, a visit to a corner shop or a catch-up with a friend. Having a routine helps to give stability and a focus to your day. These small adjustments can make all the difference to your grief journey.
Emotions
Grief stirs up many emotions, and crying is a natural reaction to grief. It can be soothing as both oxytocin and endorphins are released when we cry. Emotions might be in turmoil and it is okay to feel anger and resentment. It's crucial to recognise that anger is a natural response to loss. It is often a protective mechanism, a way for our hearts to shield themselves from the intensity of grief and to hide from other, more painful, emotions.
It is essential to express your emotions when grieving with someone you trust, such as a family member, friend or a grief professional. You may feel a sense of relief if the person who died has suffered and this is okay too. Emotions are transmitters of information about how we are feeling so it is important to listen to them and take care of yourself. Writing things down in a journal or talking with someone who really understands can help with processing these emotions.
Exercise
You might not feel like exercising, but getting out in nature and moving your body are really helpful. When you get outside you can gain a wider perspective. It can act as a ‘circuit breaker’, helping you to shift from repetitive thoughts to a more expansive way of thinking. Whether you live in the town or the country, a walk will help you move energy in your body, as you are exposed to fresh air and the colours of the landscape.
We all need Vitamin D and that can be in short supply in the winter months, so going for a walk will help up your levels. This is most beneficial in the morning hours before lunch. When we immerse ourselves in the landscape, for example walking through a forest, we are soothed by the greens of nature. The Japanese have named this ‘forest bathing’ and it can be a powerful antidote to stress and depression.
Nutrition

Grief can have a significant impact on appetite and eating habits. While some people may experience a loss of appetite, others may tend to overeat to cope with their pain. A well-balanced diet is essential as you withstand the stress of grieving. That means eating plenty of vegetables, fruits, and lean proteins, and drinking plenty of water and other healthy liquids.
If your appetite is diminished, try eating small portions more frequently. It’s important to note that when someone in grief finds self-care, it can be helpful to use a grocery list, keep mealtime simple, and change where you sit to eat to establish a new routine.
Others can help those experiencing grief by bringing healthy snacks, offering to go grocery shopping with them, and providing general companionship.
Connection
Grief can be a lonely and isolating experience but connecting with others can help you feel less alone. If you have a support network of friends, neighbours or family, it is important to let them know how you are feeling. Sometimes people are afraid of being thought ‘needy’ but many people are only too happy to help when asked.
In cases of complex grief, talking to a specialist grief counsellor may be needed. They can help you understand the grieving process, identify and express your feelings, explore ways of coping with birthdays and anniversaries of the loss and move, moving towards acceptance.
Mindset Vitality provides twice-monthly bereavement friendship groups that provide a safe space for you to share your experiences and connect with others who are going through similar experiences. There are online support groups too.
In addition to seeking professional help or joining a support group, there are other ways to connect while grieving. Consider reaching out to friends or family members who have experienced similar losses. You may also find comfort in participating in activities that you enjoy or volunteering for a cause that is meaningful to you.
Conclusion
There is no right way to grieve, and it is something that must be lived through to heal. There are no shortcuts. But there is hope and help available. Self-help in terms of following some of the suggestions above, looking after yourself both physically and mentally, and reaching out to others to share your grief, not locking it away, will help you to adapt and heal. Grief is about adaptation and by applying some of the tips above, I hope you'll find some comfort and healing.
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